Monday, October 31, 2011

Battle of the Blades 3 - week 6

Since it is Halloween today, Battle of the Blades had a Halloween theme and more opportunities for lame puns by Ron Maclean.

If you saw the Monster Mash routine last year by Shae-lynn Bourne and Patrice Brisebois you might be expecting something as good. Well it wasn't. But it was better than the past few weeks. Kurt Browning skated back and forth on the ice dressed as Two-Face. Ron Maclean dressed as Mickey Mouse from Fantasia. The judges were also dressed up and the guest was the sultry yet goofy Katrina Witt.

Elena Bereznhaya & Curtis Leschyshyn

Elena and Curtis opened the evening, dancing to "Ladies and Gentlemen," by Saliva, a fitting first song, what with its refrain of "Welcome to the show." This was painful but so have been most of their skates. Of course, Sandra still found a way to praise it, cooing, "I love that you take physical risks." She then ripped the program then finished with "The technical level is outstanding." I can never figure her out. Total score: 16.9.

Marie-France Dubreuil & Bryan Berard

Marie-France and Bryan were second, dancing to Marilyn Manson's take on "Tainted Love", and it was better simply because the couple came as zombies. Very appropriate for Bryan. The performance was bizarre. For each of the lifts, Marie-France either played dead or was in the process of being killed, and for a family program, it had a lot more woman-strangling than I thought CBC could handle. The judges loved it. Total score: 17.4.

Tanith Belbin & Boyd Devereaux

Tanith and Boyd were the third couple on the evening, dancing to "Tore My Heart" by Oona, dressed as a wolfman and femme fatale. Sandra claimed that, if someone happened upon this program without knowing what it was, they'd think that Boyd was a figure skater. Sure they would. A terrible, terrible figure skater. Witt claimed Boyd gave her a Little Red Riding Hood fantasy, and then proceeded to give him a 6.0. They actually were pretty good though I"m still annoyed by that ridiculous statement from Sandra. Total score: 17.8.

Violetta Afanasieva & Cale Hulse

Violetta and Cale were the fourth couple on the evening, dancing to "Love Potion no. 9" by the Clovers, while dressed like a nerdy doctor and a sexy nurse. In other words, they re-enacted a porno movie. The judges loved it, with Jeremy and Katarina claiming the performance got them hot, and Sandra raving, "Comedy is the hardest to do, and you really nailed it." That's an absurd statement, but it's also full of sexual innuendo. Total score: 17.6.

Tessa Bonhomme & David Pelletier

Tessa and David closed out the evening, dancing to "Haunted House" by Elvira while dressed as mummies. Katarina had the line of the evening, saying, "If you were to perform this performance at the Olympics in Sochi, you would definitely win the gold without sharing it with another couple." Jeremy Roenick brought us back to earth, saying "I'm just wondering if I can get wrapped up with you guys one of these times," effectively suggesting the three have sex together. Total score: 17.5.

On the Monday evening skate off the two bottom teams were once again a surprise to me. Clearly the worst 2 teams with Elena & Curtis and Marie-France & Bryan. Instead the skate off was between Tanith & Boyd and Violetta & Cale. Considering Tanith & Boyd have become the strongest team it should come as no surprise that the judges eliminated Violetta & Cale.

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